Royal Wedding Exclusive – From the reporters with No Idea!

Royal Wedding Scoop!

It’s been in the papers, it’s been on the news, all the paper stands are littered with it and every supermarket is pushing it.  But finally, the royal wedding is next week and then life can resume to its normal pace.  So, taking on the vain of the trash women’s magazines, we have a world exclusive for you.  We didn’t catch up with the lovely couple to bring you this real insight into next weeks wedding.

It's all smiles till you can't go to the pub!

We didn’t speak to Wills (as we don’t know him so well, we feel we are close enough to call him Wills) to talk about his favourite pint of beer.  He didn’t tell us he liked London Pride, or Theakstons Best, nor did he say that he would often pop out for a swift half of Masterbrew in the Cask and Glass (39-41 Palace Street SW1E 5HN), just behind his mums house.  I didn’t ask how Wills was getting to his wedding, so he didn’t tell me he was planing to nip out the back of Buck house and sneak a quick one at the Colonies (25 Wilfred Street SW1E 6PR) then nip down to the Buckingham Arms (62 Petty France SW1H 9EU) up to the Two Chairmen (39 Dartmouth Street SW1H 9BP) and then a final ‘free man’ pint at the Sanctuary House Hotel (33 Tothill Street SW1H 9LA) before being betrothed to his darling Kate.  Troy and I haven’t tried these pubs yet (Summer 2011) so do so at your own risk.  And don’t take Will’s word either, he was far too drunk to remember!

Better make that a 6-pack, he's got a big night ahead!

We didn’t speak to Kate either, so she didn’t tell us that she wasn’t all that keen on beer as it has a “funny taste” (like clowns probably), although she was always happy to slip down the pub to catch up with Wills and the boys.  She didn’t say either, that a Pimms on a hot day – particularly when at the Tennis – was “Jolly good” or that a Gin and Tonic “really was a great pick-me-up” after getting the weekly shop down at Morrisons.  She didn’t say she went there to pick up some Kiss-me-Kate as a wedding gift for Wills either (but that is about the only place you can get Kiss-me-Kate beer in London).

What, I said that? really??

It will be a big day for the Royal couple and we wish them all the best in their life together, albeit rather a public life with little forgiveness for any slight slip-up they may make.  But on the bright side at least Wills is a bit smarter than Prince Phillip, who gained most of his publicity through sometimes pseudo-racist and inappropriate remarks aimed at everyday people, but voiced too often to visiting dignitaries.  Want to learn more, well here is a link to keep you amused! Prince Phillips Dumb Comments.

But wait, there’s more!!

I was just about to close off for the week when I stumbled upon this headline.

KATE Middleton’s parents have finally been subjected to a series of horribly offensive comments by Prince Philip. Michael and Carole Middleton had lunch , The Daily Mash.

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